It’s been said a good conversation is all about balance: a balance between listening and speaking, between simple ideas and details, and questions and answers. That’s especially true when having a senior living conversation with your Mom or Dad. Here are some suggestions on how to make it a positive and productive experience.
More than words: what to keep in mind when having the senior living conversation
What do your parents think about senior living in general? If you aren’t sure, ask them before leaping into a dialogue. They may still have the idea that senior living means letting go of control or pulling away from life. They might not have been inside a modern, vibrant community filled with energy and vitality, nothing like the image they may have in their minds (a dark, depressing place where no one smiles).
If this is the case, use the senior living conversation to introduce them to what they can expect in a community today: more freedom to do as they please, more convenience and support for everyday tasks, and more ways to live a happier, healthier lifestyle.
Download our free guide: Senior Living Options – A Guide for Understanding Which Level of Care is the Best Fit.
Once your conversation begins:
- Be respectful of all that they say. Whether you agree or not, give your parents the opportunity to speak freely. They might have a lot of emotions tied up into their thoughts, so don’t discount them. Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes. How would you feel about such a significant transition? Remember to keep it as a dialogue.
- Ask questions. What fears do they have? Are there aspects of making a move that are worrying them? What do they really want from their retirement? What does he or she absolutely not want? Which senior living benefits are non-negotiable? The senior living conversation is a great time to really find out what is on their minds.
- Be honest about your concerns, but don’t make it sound as though your parents have become a burden. Instead of bringing up how their mobility issue or fading memory has made it hard for you to maintain your own schedule, let them know how much you care. “I just want to be sure you are safe during the day,” or “I’m just concerned that you might not feel comfortable driving at night,” or something similar.
- Listen attentively. Don’t fill every silence. Give them the opportunity to consider your words and respond. It might be that they aren’t ready to admit feeling vulnerable just yet; hearing your honest feelings could make it easier for them to begin sharing their deepest thoughts, but at their own pace.
- Don’t lie or mislead. A senior living conversation must be based on honesty. Even if your parent is having memory issues, be direct with your thoughts as well as your suggestions. Not telling the truth will only lead to problems of trust which can make everything more difficult.
- Be prepared. While a senior living conversation may not be easy, it doesn’t have to be depressing, as long as you are ready with some information on possible next steps. You might mention some of the benefits of senior living, such as freedom from home maintenance, a professional staff on hand to help when needed, no more driving at night or worrying over meal preparation, more friends to spend time with during the day, and more.
You can suggest taking your parent to a community to see how it feels, have lunch there, and meet some of the residents. Let them see firsthand what a true maintenance-free lifestyle looks like. Drop in on a few activities. Tour the grounds. Peek inside a residence if possible so they can see how others are enjoying the smart design and finishes.
You don’t have to have all the answers, but having some knowledge of what’s available could go a long way to building confidence with your loved one.
We are here to help
Choosing St. Mark Village gives you or your loved one access to a full continuum of care: independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing, and in-patient rehabilitation. So, no matter where you reside in our community, you benefit from the support, focus on total wellness, and strong social network that can lead to increased longevity. Plus, you have a plan that offers seamless access to future care options, something both you and your family can appreciate.
Senior living focused on the whole person. Download our free guide: Senior Living Options – A Guide for Understanding Which Level of Care is the Best Fit. Or contact us. We’d love to hear from you.
